It's like being stuck in a loveless marriage with yourself. Everything you do is not correct, and it cannot be corrected. There seems to be a solution but in the long term evwerything falls to pieces. What then? Why try to solve something that's just going to keep happening? I find myself asking the same questions because I don't see a better future than this. What I had, which was horrible in its own way, was only a little patch of oblivion to what the world really is and how my life will really be like. I would much rather be alone where there's no possible way I can hurt other people's feelings while mastering my own.